During heated arguments, our words frequently outweigh our wisdom. We speak, react, and respond without completely comprehending the impact our words may have. Only after we see the pain in someone’s eyes or witness the end of a relationship do we fully comprehend the seriousness of what we have spoken.
Speed of Speech vs. Pace of Wisdom
Picture this: You’re in a heated fight, your heart racing, and then—whoosh!—words fly out of your mouth like terrified birds. There is no time for pondering, no space for reflection. The tongue travels swiftly, but understanding is sluggish.
We may deliver cutting remarks in seconds, yet the damage they cause might remain for years. There is a considerable difference between how easily words flow from our mouths and how deeply they can hurt the hearts of others.
The Smiling Assassin Syndrome
Many of us hide behind grins when making disparaging remarks. We surround our judgments in pleasantries, believing that the phrase will mitigate their impact.
“No offense, but…” (Translation: I’m about to upset you.)
“I’m just saying…” (Translation: I take no responsibility for what I’m about to say.)
I knew someone who would talk so much negativity about others with a smile plastered on her face, making it seem that everything coming out of her mouth was out of genuine concern. She had me fooled for a bit until clarity set in. The sweet delivery masked the poison within her words.
However, a negative message sent with a smile is still damaging. The contents are the same regardless of the package!
The Walking Contradiction
When we pretend to follow higher principles while using our voice as a weapon, we create a contradiction that undermines our credibility. Our actions, including our words, reflect our true personalities more clearly than any self-assigned labels.
Should others believe our claims or conduct if we pretend to be kind while speaking maliciously?
“Your words are your billboard,” as my grandmother would say. They show your true identity to people around you.
The Heart Behind the Words
This paradox is most obvious when someone claims to follow spiritual beliefs while saying things that hurt, condemn, or demean others. Most spiritual traditions emphasize the importance of speech in reflecting our inner ideals and exposing what is truly in our hearts.
Much religious literature publicly addresses this disparity:
- Christian scripture teaches that you should not glorify God while cursing others
- In Islamic teachings, regulating one’s tongue is considered essential to faith
- Right speech is considered an important part of the Buddhist road to enlightenment
The Million-Dollar Question: What Is in Your Heart?
So, here’s where things get real: what motivates you? Love or hate? Compassion or contempt?
I am motivated by a desire to learn, connect, and serve others. I aspire to approach each discussion with empathy and genuine interest in the person I am speaking with.
Love, in the sense of caring for people’s well-being and attempting to make a positive influence in their lives, is definitely something I strive for. Even when things are tough, I try to be kind to everyone.
The Speed Bump Solution
The task entails pausing at a critical point between impulse and action, where insight might emerge. This does not mean never presenting realities, but rather ensuring that those truths are delivered with empathy for the person receiving them.
Try this experiment: The next time you are going to say anything potentially damaging, imagine your words as tangible items that you are passing to someone. Would you give someone a bouquet of flowers or a handful of thorns?
The Heart-Check Challenge
True spiritual practice frequently requires becoming more aware of our speech habits and mastering the discipline of pausing before speaking. It entails realizing when our remarks are driven by anger, pride, or fear rather than love or wisdom.
You can call yourself a religious person and still engage in black magic, gossip, and commit fraud. The label means nothing if your actions contradict your proclaimed beliefs. This disconnect between identity and behavior reveals the true state of one’s heart.
The aim for each of us is to connect our activities, particularly our speech, with our deepest ideals. When we notice this gap in ourselves or others, it serves as a reminder that spiritual progress is an ongoing process, not a destination that has been reached.
What matters is not just claiming to follow a spiritual path, but whether our words and actions reflect the compassion, humility, and wisdom the path teaches.
So, the next time you speak, especially in a conflict, take a heart-checking pause. Ask yourself, “Is this coming from love or something else?” Your relationships (and ethics) will appreciate it!
A Final Thought
Dear readers,
As we reach the end of this reflection, I’d like to thank you for joining me on this journey. Words have power; they can either build or break bridges or heal or inflict harm. I hope that you will carry this heart check with you in all your interactions, even the difficult ones.
Stop throwing stones and hiding your hands. We see you!
Keep in mind that we are all changing, striving to align our words with our deepest desires. Some days we’ll get it right, and others we’ll fall short. What matters is that we continue to try, learn, and prioritize love above hatred whenever possible.
Until we meet again, may your words be kind, your heart be full, and your wisdom arrive a little before your speech.
With Love on your healing journey,
