Growing as a marriage while raising children is one of life’s most rewarding—and challenging—experiences. Would you believe me if I told you that 23 years of marriage haven’t been easy? Haha! The truth is that maintaining a successful connection while parenting involves deliberate effort and a dedication to prioritizing both your relationship and your family’s needs.
I could go on and on about this subject because the voyage has taught me so much. Raising children while maintaining a marriage requires presence, patience, and perseverance.
Making Your Marriage a Priority Isn’t Selfish—It’s Essential
Children thrive when their parents have a solid relationship. Investing in your marriage gives your kids security and shows them what a loving and healthy relationship looks like.
Create Sacred Couple Time
At the end of each day, even fifteen minutes of unbroken discussion can help you stay connected. Consider scheduling regular outings; they need not be expensive or elaborate. Our favorite dates occasionally consisted of coffee on the patio or leisurely strolls after the kids were asleep.
Practice Open and Honest Communication
Parenting involves several decisions, challenges, and emotions. Maintaining an open communication about parenting styles, personal needs, and relationship expectations prevents resentment from forming.
Remember, You’re Partners First
Before becoming parents, you choose each other. When parental conflicts occur, engage them as collaborators rather than adversaries. Ask yourself, “How can we solve the issue together?”
Embrace Imperfections Together
Some parenting seasons can put a greater pressure on your relationship than others. During these difficult times, be kind to yourself and your spouse. The sleep-deprived years of infancy and the emotional rollercoaster of adolescence are not permanent stages. I promise you, years later, it will be a distant memory that you will chuckle about.
Find Joy in Family Rituals
Make customs that reflect your particular family culture. Whether it’s Sunday game evenings, Christmas traditions, or special birthday celebrations, these shared experiences fortify both your parental and marital relationships.
Pray Together
If you are believers, make it a daily habit to pray together—not only at mealtimes. This one deed can make a huge difference in your relationship. Couples who pray together regularly report feeling more connected, which helps them overcome challenges. Spend a few minutes thanking God for the blessings he has bestowed upon your family, praying for one another, and asking Him for assistance with any needs or concerns.
Dream Together About the Future
It’s common to lose sight of your common goals amidst the daily responsibilities of parenting. Plan your future together: where to go, what to do, and how to grow. This procedure keeps your relationship on track beyond your family’s immediate requirements. Planning for the future together may be an exciting and rejuvenating experience.
Take Care of Yourself
Self-love is a key component in this equation, and when you add maintaining a solid connection, things can get even more challenging. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Taking the time to feed your needs—whether via exercise, hobbies, or simply quiet times of reflection—allows you to be more present for both your spouse and your children. When both couples emphasize self-care, they bring their best selves to the partnership, resulting in a more positive family dynamic overall.
Come In and Let’s Talk
Discussions regarding your relationship are always welcome. Making time for meaningful conversations is key. Establish a judgment-free zone in which both partners feel comfortable communicating their thoughts, dreams, and concerns. Often, the most important conversations happen unexpectedly, such as when family life gets chaotic. By consciously caring for your marriage while raising your children, you are offering your entire family an essential gift.
Remember that no relationship is flawless, and each partner will make mistakes along the road. Approach obstacles with compassion and an open mind. When providing feedback to your spouse, emphasize specific actions rather than character defects, and always balance constructive criticism with genuine appreciation for their efforts and talents. Marriage is a lifetime commitment that entails viewing it as a permanent connection based on love, respect, and a desire to work through difficulties together, pledging to stay “till death do us part.”
According to studies, couples who emphasize their relationship while raising children are less likely to divorce. Indeed, couples who spend quality time together at least once a week are 3.5 times less likely to divorce than those who do not.
What part of juggling marriage and parenthood do you find the most difficult?
