Let’s be honest: occasionally life seems like you’re riding a unicycle in the rain attempting to eat soup with a fork. Behindwards. Ascending. We have all been there, being the whole “adult,” and wondering whether everyone else has a hidden manual we missed somehow. (Spoiler alert: they are merely better at pretending.)
First Stop: Quit Dating Your Phone
Indeed, I am speaking with you—the one browsing Instagram, answering business emails, and engaged in that addictive candy-crushing game. Your phone is not a wonderful friend. It’s hungry, disturbs your sleep, and most likely violates your privacy. Try this radical notion: set it down.
Rather, welcome the transforming idea of “looking up.” You may find actual human faces, clouds, and trees, among other things. Recall those. Their pieces move to produce expressions. Right? Wild?
Daily Affirmation: “I am more interesting than my social media feed, and that’s saying something since my feed is pretty darn great.”
Second Step: Welcome Your Inner Weirdness
Remember when you used to dance as though no one else was around? Yes, now even when everyone is watching, you don’t dance. Time to start altering that! Your unusual traits are your abilities. Try to disguise the snort-laughing you’re doing. Fantastic. Is your obsession with collecting rubber ducks unique? Totally distinctive. You could quote the whole The Office episode? This is truly a gift for mankind.
Let’s go one step further and start a “Weird Win Wednesday” custom whereby you purposefully engage in something distinctively yours. To a significant meeting, wear mismatched socks. In elevator-speak, strike up a discussion. Call your houseplants after Shakespeare’s characters. Your strangeness is your beauty.
Daily Affirmation: “My best feature is that I am a magnificent weirdo.”
Third Step: Give Up Pressuring Yourself
“By now I ought to be married.”
“I ought to be working somewhere better.”
“I should know how to fold a fitted sheet.”
The past tense of guilt should be present, honey; we are no longer engaging in it. You should only do whatever makes your spirit perform a tiny, joyful dance.
Every time you notice yourself repeating “should,” substitute “could if I wanted to, but I’m choosing not to right now because I’m a grown-up who makes their own decisions.” Indeed, it is longer, but it is far more empowering.
Daily Affirmation: “Although that place is eating cereal for dinner, I am exactly where I need to be.”
Fourth Step: Establish Limits Like You’re Building a Castle
Your time and money are priceless assets; treat them as such, the royal jewels they are. Saying no to things that tax you is reasonable. Can’t make it to the graduation ceremony of your second cousin’s dog? Forward a card. Do you want to avoid joining another committee at work? Use your inner queen and gracefully turn away.
Consider your limitations as your personal force field. They are filters to keep the good stuff in, not barriers to keep people out. And, if necessary, feel free to create a moat dotted with symbolic crocodiles, just as in a real castle.
Daily Affirmation: “No is a complete sentence, and I’m about to become fluent in it.”
Fifth Step: Start Living Like You’re the Main Character
You are the major character in your life. Your life’s main character is you! Quit waiting for permission to lead the greatest life you can. Would you like to pick up underwater basket weaving? Proceed with it. Dream of creating a cat’s cookbook? Why not? Too brief life is to be a supporting actor in your personal narrative.
Make your own montage events:
- Go grocery shopping and blast your power song
- Make your morning coffee habit a holy ritual
- Tell your life in the voice of Morgan Freeman (in your brain; ideally, do not frighten the neighbors)
Daily Affirmation: “I am the star of my own show, and the ratings are about to go through the roof.”
Sixth Step: Master Self-Care (Without Breaking the Bank)
Self-care goes beyond simply luxurious spa days and $200 face treatments. Sometimes, since adulting is difficult, it’s about making a pillow fort in your living room. Alternatively announcing a “No Pants Sunday,” since actual clothing is underappreciated. Alternatively, one could opt to start with dessert, given the uncertainty of life.
Mood Enhancers:
Quick Fixes (5 minutes):
- Deep breathing
- Viewing kitten videos
- Performing a restroom power pose
Middle-Level Boosters:
- Call a buddy
- Have a bubble bath with rubber ducks
- Throw a dance party for one
Full Recovery Mode:
- Indulge in a Netflix marathon with food
- Start a crafts frenzy
- Color-code and organize your sock drawer
Daily Affirmation: “My well-being is essential, like coffee and Wi-Fi.”
Seventh Step: Embrace the Power of Yet
You simply lack presence; you are not failing here yet. Not able to do a push-up yet. You’re still unable to communicate effectively in French. Though you have already converted your apartment into an urban jungle, you still find yourself tempted to buy plants. Alright, that one could be a permanent condition.
Turn your inner critic into your own hype team. Replace “I can’t” with “How can I?” Try saying, “This is going to make a great story later,” instead of, “This is impossible.”
Daily Affirmation: “I am a work in progress, and the work along the way is beautiful.”
Eighth Step: Assemble Your Emergency Joy Kit
Sometimes life seems more like depressed cats and gloomy days than it does of sunshine and happiness. This is why one should make a joyful emergency bag. Stuff it full of:
- Pictures that make you laugh
- A playlist meant to inspire you
- Your preferred comfort foods
- Something soft to press between your fingers
- An inventory of films that will always make you happy
- Emergency numbers—including your preferred pizza delivery company
Daily Affirmation: “I am prepared for both sunshine and storms, and I look equally fantastic in both.”
The Grand Finish
Returning your power is not about spectacular gestures or overnight total transformation of your life. It’s about those little daily decisions that say, “Hey, I matter.” It’s about choosing happiness even if your cat criticizes you for breakfasting on chocolate and your coffee maker breaks.
You are not regaining your power; it has always been there, probably buried under the three weeks of clothes you wanted to fold. (No evaluation; everyone has that chair.)
Your power resides in being totally, unboundedly you, not in perfection. It’s in:
- The way you laugh at yourself
- The way you recover from a fall
- The way you keep going even if life’s GPS is obviously pointing the other way
Go forth and conquer, my magnificent person. Your life is waiting and will be great—not because it’s perfect but so wonderfully yours.
P.S. You are quite free to have that second cookie. These are the choices you have to make; you are an adult now. And remember: if someone tries to make you feel guilty about your decisions, remember that while some people reach their peak in high school, you are an adult now.